You can learn more by taking a seat at the table… not beside it.

Some of the first events I attended with my father when I worked for our family business…. see…young…bright-eyed :)

First thing first- I must acknowledge that my career and professional experiences come from a place, well, of privilege. I was lucky enough to grow up in family of successful entrepreneurs and business leaders. I was lucky enough to grow up with real life examples of strong professional women, and of business owners who knew how to take risks (thanks mom and dad). Not everyone gets that experience- I recognize that. 

However, I do believe that your life is what you make it to be.  That the opportunities given to you do not define you- however, it’s what you do with those opportunities that matters.

So with all of that said- when I joined the aviation industry with our family business, I was essentially a young puppy. You know the types right… bright eyed, excited, not yet beaten down by the sales world and late night conference networking events :)

My amazing Grandpa and Grandma ages ago. Mr. “Infax” himself

However, one thing that I had going for me at that time was that I refused to believe that I was that young, bright-eyed kid.  Sure, when people saw me wrinkle free and excited, they assumed… but I never admitted it. I wanted them to see me for my intelligence, for my preparation, for my hunger, for my confidence, for my independence… and not simply as a young woman new to the industry.

My favorite question at conferences or right after I presented to a room of airport directors was “Wait, How old are you?”   So my answer was simply just that- “I am 65-years old- how old are you?”    Of course, I’d get a chuckle… but I would also keep a level of respect that would have most likely and almost immediately been taking from me had I admitted my age and years of “professional experience” at the time.  Because at the time, I didn’t have the 2 decades of experience, but at the time, I still knew what I was talking about- and so I said it with confidence and pride.

Recent picture of my father and I as we own two separate businesses side by side!

Look- there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help (I do it all the time!), and there is certainly an immense power in admitting that you don’t know an answer (you can learn more that way!)- but I would argue that carrying a level of confidence and a sense of belonging at that executive table, will take you further than sitting on the side lines waiting for the time when you feel like you know “enough” or are “invited”---which is usually based on metrics of professional experience, gender, race and age.

As women, we already have to push much, much harder to get that seat at the table, so you dang well know I wasn’t going to pass my chance up waiting until my years of experience matched the others in that room. (Although…some might say I have a patience problem…)  

And that’s what I want to encourage new professionals, young professionals, women… You can learn from bright people by sitting at the table with them so take your seat. You don’t need to sit quietly until you have 2 decades under your belt.   Come prepared. Come knowledgeable. Come approachable. Come confident. That is more than half the battle. I could argue that I learned more from those successful individuals by having those direct conversations with them, versus watching them from the side lines having conversations without me.  I could also argue that they were able to learn a thing or two from me too.

And although I definitely don’t tell people I am 65 years old anymore-(my new wrinkles are starting to tell my story without adding extra numbers!), I can be glad that I was able to leave those experiences with gratitude for the lessons I learned from those brilliant professionals by participating, versus leaving with resentment feeling like I was left out.

So go take your seat at the table and know that you belong there.

TD